Addiction attacks your soul in times of sorrow or under the hour of happiness. There is no limit to the depths it will go to ensure it can keep you under control. You are powerless in this relationship that has been nurtured by you, and the break-up will feel as your best friend has passed. It is hard to see how entrenched you are when dealing with this daily addiction that consumes your life today, one that has washed away the life you once had. The emotions that surface and pass through don't do enough to lead you in a new direction. You are tangled in this unhealthy relationship that you refuse to let go of, and you'll sacrifice everything imaginable to prevent the loss of this relationship. There is always an exit, you can surrender, and you can choose to give control to the highest spirit in finding your place home.